THE SECRET LIFE OF PETS

★★

Voices by Louis C.K., Eric Stonestreet, Kevin Hart, Jenny Slate, Ellie Kemper, Albert Brooks, Lake Bell, Dana Carvey, Hannibal Buress, Bobby Moynihan, Steve Coogan
Directed by Yarrow Cheney, Chris Renaud
2016 / 87 Minutes / Universal Pictures

I’ll start by saying I’m not a big fan of the movies coming out of Illumination Entertainment, creators of the Minions. I don’t like the Minions, I don’t find them funny and I really don’t understand the appeal. I think this movie is just like those ones… very little substance and it’s only flashy fast paced bright colours with no laughs.

As a pet owner I thought the idea of this movie was great and could have really been clever and fun, but instead it’s really quite unimaginative and is basically a simple Saturday morning cartoon story. There’s nothing new here. Talking animals on an adventure. Oh, but the cute big eyed bunny is the villain voiced by Kevin Hart… hilarious (nope). I barely laughed once during the entire dragged out 87 minutes. There’s not much for adults here even though it really wants to win us over. Although I could be totally wrong as there were adults in the theatre after the movie saying they loved it, hmm. There’s no emotion, there’s nothing here to make me care about these dull characters.

One of the biggest issues I have with this movie is the characters. None of these characters are memorable, especially the two leads voiced by Louis C.K. and Eric Stonestreet. Stonestreet’s character, Duke is so unlikeable and boring that I really could care less about him and what happens. There is no soul to any of these characters which kept me from enjoy any of this. Take a page from other animated films… even Ice Age’s characters are more memorable and have unique personalities. This was just empty computer animated pictures dancing around the screen in a basic and dull screenplay.

The Secret Life of Pets is a dull mess that young kids will love! All I wanted was more likeable characters which could have made this movie much more memorable. Don’t wast your time on this. Go and see Finding Dory again. A much better film that has emotion and depths to it’s characters. It doesn’t all have to be all flashy colours to be a good film. I would say this movie will be completely forgotten in 10 years, but I’m pretty sure that I’ll be reviewing the 4th one by then. Ughhh, I don’t want anymore!

Grade D+

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