SILENT HILL: REVELATION

Starring Adelaide Clemens, Kit Harington, Carrie-Anne Moss, Sean Bean, Radha Mitchell, Malcolm McDowell
2012 / 95 Minutes /Alliance Atlantis Motion Pictures

Revelation is a pretty arrogant word to be using anywhere near this film. This is truly a piece of garbage and I truly mean that. I felt offended actually, that this steaming turd is a squeakquel to the first Silent Hill. That one was decent! The first film actually had plot and pacing and character development. It had a definitive mood and atmosphere with great visuals. It was actually pretty scary!

I thought someone whose first language is not English wrote this script because of how nonsensical it was; turns out it’s some Scottish bloke. I don’t even remember the plot. The character actions and dialogue make no sense. I spent more time yelling at my laptop and pausing like four or five times than I did actually watching this. Truthfully, the only reason I hung on until the end was because I had a song in my head I was pretty sure was from Silent Hill but I couldn’t find it on the Internet. Is there an app where you can whistle a tune and it will tell you what it’s from? That would save me a lot of time.

What I really like about the Silent Hill universe are all the monsters like pyramid head dude and the nurses. I thought at least there would be some cool new spooky monsters but there’s so much bad CGI here that it looked WORSE than the video game. And I’m talking about the first game that came out in like 1992 or whatever. Booooo!!!

Grade  D-

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